I’ve heard the expression “you don’t have anything if you don’t have your health” about a thousand times, but I never really understood what it meant until this past year. I’ve battled a difficult pregnancy, whooping cough and now asthma. Most recently been having trouble breathing at night and coughing fits when I am sleeping or exerting myself. I know that there are worse ailments to have but I was feeling a little down and out about it all. I’m starting to feel a lot better with the help of some new medication and attempting to get back into the swing of things.
I think about all of the days that I skipped the gym or going to the park to meet up with friends because I was just plain lazy… when I was sick and I wasn’t doing these things I got really bummed. I actually learned a lot about myself during this time.
I actually like exercising! Who knew? I’ve always thought of going for a walk or taking a barre class was something that I did because I had to… so that my jeans fit and whatnot. But when I couldn’t work out I started to get a little blue. I’ve only been back in the gym for about two weeks and I can feel a total shift in my mood… I’m still waiting for the shift in the way my jeans fit but hopefully that will come soon.
I am a social person; I have always known this about myself. I like to bounce ideas off other people, talk about current events, and learn about what is happening in my friends’ lives. Ever since Leo was born, most of my friends have been other people with kids; when you have a chronic terrible-sounding cough… you don’t really want to be around kids and their parents don’t want you to be around them. I honestly think that I developed a little social anxiety when I was sick, I was always paranoid that a coughing fit was going to start at a play date, at the park or when I was picking Leo up at school. So, I just avoided those things for a while. In 2015 in Los Angeles, it’s pretty easy to never to leave the house… you can get your groceries, diapers and basically anything you can think of delivered and I can always find things to do around the house so that I am “busy.”
Now that I am starting to get out to the grocery store, play dates, dates with my husband and even girl’s nights (with lots of cocktails!), I realized how much I missed these things. Yes, even the grocery store… I am a loser I know. I’ve always seen socializing at sort of a bonus. I get done what need to get done and if I can fit in a coffee with a friend or a date night with Lenny, awesome. My social hiatus made me realize that these things need to be a priority, not a treat.
So it sucked, but it’s mostly over. I am so happy to have my health back, even if if is a different version of my health. Now that I have been through it, I have learned a lot about myself and what I need to do be happy.